Today is International Women's Day. Never heard of this day before, but a quick perusal of Wiki (...that amounts to factual research... right?!?) tells me that it marks a celebration of womens economic, political and social achievements. I've been talking with a lot of people lately about reverse feminism, so today seems like the perfect time to start the conversation.
Feminism is not a dirty word
This is an issue close to my heart. I am a feminist. Many people are confronted by that word. I'm not sure why or how this happened - but it was happening when I was growing up. People would say, 'of course, I believe in equal pay....but I'm not (da da daaaah... dramatic horror reveal....) a feminist'. Feminists are perceived as angry, confrontational, extremist, ugly, aggressive, hard - and often by other women. When really all feminism is about is valuing women - not about making them the same as men - and about the quest for women to have choices. To vote, to earn money, to conceive, to wear the clothes they choose, to choose ... anything. You get the drift. Choice is the by-product of education. From there, it is a matter of access. And with education, comes access.
Simply put:
Men hate feminists because they are perceived as a direct threat to them: their positions, their power, their money. And women hate feminists because (well, heterosexual women) they want to be desired by men.
Any woman growing up in this country is a feminist by default....free from persecution and assault, they can wear what they want, marry who they want, go to university, go on the pill. So to bite the hand that fed them is pretty repulsive and inexcusable to me.
Let's go back to desire. People - men and women - think they want women to look good, and keep a nice and neat home. Those things are good, sure. Except that this actually isn't what men want. Who men gravitate towards, who men talk to at a party - is the woman who can talk back, who can contribute. Even Cosmo and Dolly know that!
I've heard men and women say recently that things were easier when women had less choices, when they knew what was required of them. The choices of the modern woman are a burden, they say. EXPLETIVE!!! So so so wrong. Wrong in a thousand ways. Try telling a modern woman that she can't work when she gets married (or have sex before marriage for that matter), or use contraception - in fact, tell her to hand back all her clothes and handbags, because now she gets whatever allowance her husband chooses to give her, tell her to expect a smack in the face if dinner isn't hot or to her husbands liking, tell her she must stay with abusive, cheating men... ugh. A little thing called the Stolen Generation? A little thing called Slavery? No no no ... choices are never a burden.
Women have the same rights as men
Well, they don't. The statistics about wages, about senior management, boards - all give evidence to the fact that we are not 'equal'. But more than that, it's not about saying women are the same as men. We are not. It is about finding and placing value on what it is that women offer: a female perspective.
The major problem is that women have children. This involves time away from a career - whether it be to only birth the child, or to take time off to do some raising of said child. This obviously impacts on career progression. And whatever way you look at it, you can't have it all (work full time, and raise your children full time).
We really need to shift the way we work. With the advent of the internet and mobile communications, we are truely operating in a global community. Business hours don't mean a lot to most of the workforce that I know. People are working longer and harder and for less money than ever before. None of this supports raising children. There aren't a lot of flexible work arrangements - and this means that the business world loses the voice and input of a whole demographic, and an extrememly valuable one.... women with children!
If you want bottom line, businesses make more money when staff are happy. They can get happy by working productively, but in more unconventional ways. This is true for both men and women. This might mean working part-time/job sharing, working from home, having breaks away from the desk, working outside normal business hours.
But the best person should get the job
I agree. Currently they don't. It's about the old boys club, but it's also about diversifying the criteria to redress gender inequality.
Part of this problem has got to be how we hire people (or is this a diversion?). Anyhoo, what's with outsourcing human resources (in fact, what's with human resources full stop), and all this psychometric testing. You should be able to meet someone and ask them questions - and either employ them or not. That's what 3 month probabations are for - to rectify any mistakes. I've been employed by companies who have gone through staff like printer ink (we used to go through a lot of printer ink....). My problem is - who was interviewing these people? Who was determining their fit for the company? It took me about 5 minutes to see that it wasn't going to work. I know what you're going to say, "but you're a genius"- and yes, you're right ... but even a lesser mortal could have seen the uselessness of these appointments...
Images of women
Cyndi Lauper said in a recent interview, "If you think chauvinism has gone away, you're out of your mind. It's more sexist now than ever. It comes in waves, and now we're back to the dark ages". She goes on to talk about the misogyny of the music industry, particularly in lyrics and video clips. The sexualised woman is nothing new, but what is slightly distrurbing is the sexualised child (Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, Twilight). In the 80's and 90's, it seemed that woman reclaimed their power, their sexuality. Now in the 00's we seem to have handed these things back to men - on a chained up, fetishised plate.
Final word
I'm sorry if this has been a bit all over the place. I'm passionate about this, and have lots of thoughts on the matter, so they might not be as coherant or well thought out as they could be. I have to hope that things will change, and hopefully quickly, because it's extremely demoralising to realise that your (out of paid work child rearing) skills are not recogonised or valued by the 'traditional' workplace.
Thanks for this post Em, it has highlighted so many important points. Living in Bangladesh has made it the more apparent for the recognition of how far women have come in Australia. Even I, - having grown up with a very strong minded feminist mother - had begun to forget just how important it is for us (men and women) to work together on creating equality.
ReplyDeleteHearing that men and women in your life have recently said “that things were easier when women had less choices, when they knew what was required of them. The choices of the modern woman are a burden” deeply disturbs me. I think these people (especially the women) need to come and have an eye opening experience here in the real world. Just to find out what it would really be like.
Women and girls in Bangladesh have limited or no choices and “rights” are a far away western concept. They are not given an opportunity to go to school; they are forced to marry from as early as the age of 10; they are sexually abused and forced to have children, when they themselves are still children and doubling the risk of fatal
complications in pregnancy; they are not given the right to choose to use contraception; if they are lucky, they are provided with an allowance from their husbands; they do get a smack (and much worse) in the face if dinner isn't hot or to her husbands liking; they must stay with abusive, cheating men because otherwise he will claim she was the one cheating and her community and family will believe him and reject her for the bad name she has given them. Given the choice, something tells me they would prefer equality and the freedom to make their own decisions. But, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they prefer to have “less choice” because they know what is “required of them”.
There is a term they use here to describe a situation when men harass, verbally abuse and stalk women they call it "Eve teasing", as in Adam and Eve. But it isn’t a little teasing. It is aggressive abuse and is becoming increasingly common, especially in rural areas. It occurs most often when girls are going to and from school. Many of these girls are overcome with guilt from the attention they receive and the shame that is brought upon their family - they stop going to school and even leaving their homes. In the worst cases, and this it is not uncommon, girls commit suicide.
Last month a 14 yr old girl whom was pregnant after being raped by her married cousin was killed when a local religious leader (a man – women are not permitted to hold this position) ordered a fatwa (religious ruling) for her to be lashed 100 times. They had accused HER, a child of 14, of adultery. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-12344959 What is most sad about this case is that when she told her father he not only believed her but also supported her in reporting it (relatively unheard of here) which is how it came to public attention. Given the choice, I could guess this girl would have preferred to have not been raped; fallen pregnant; accused of adultery; lashed in public and left to bleed to death. Given the choice, I could guess this girl would have preferred to live out her childhood in safety, finish high school, maybe even uni, fall in love and make love to whomever she chose when she wanted and with the use of contraception. But, maybe I’m wrong.
sorry my rant continues......
ReplyDeleteAnd just for the record both child marriage and fatwa orders are illegal in Bangladesh but what is written in national policy is very difficult to be enforced on a local level. I feel that women in Australia often believe that we are equal to men but in reality when you look a little deeper, the truth and what we believe is blurred... as you said the stats prove it. Gender discrimination does exist in Australia. We may not like how this sounds but it is the truth
Incidents like those mentioned are not isolated to Bangladesh or Islamic countries. I refer to the situation here as the ‘real world’ because the majority of women and girls in our world live under similar circumstances in developing nations. There are approx 80 million women alone in Bangladesh, 4 times our entire population. If you are born a girl in our world you are more likely to suffer from malnutrition (as parents feed boys over girls); be forced into an early marriage; be subjected to violence or intimidation; be trafficked, sold or coerced into the sex trade; or become infected with HIV. Less than 2% of the worlds land is owned by women. This is not equality. We, as women born in Australia, are just fortunate to be women of the minority, living in the developed world. The odds are not in our favour. We cannot forget this, if we do not continue to stand up for our rights – rights which we have not long held - and do not assist women in developing nations realise theirs, this world will continue to suffer from inter-generational poverty and injustice. As it turns out, Australia really is a lucky country.
As for the sexualisation of children – you don’t want to get me started!
Marns - thank you so much. You write beautifully and with passion. You are exactly right, in order to effect real change, gender discrimination needs to end in the developing (real) world - and not just in policy but in the hearts of all men and women. And like all the big-ticket issues - hunger, poverty, disease, abuse - it can all be a bit overwhelming. Where do we even start to build more love and respect for each other? Well, in places like Australia, I guess it starts by addressing the truth of inequality in our own country. And in reminding those lucky few that they need to fight for the rights of the maltreated majority.
ReplyDeleteToo bad no ones reading my blog - we could change the world between you and me...
no one's ... I meant, no one's
ReplyDelete